Called To Rejoice Part Three

 1 Kings 19

19 And Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, also how he had executed all the prophets with the sword. 2 Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So let the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by tomorrow about this time.” 3 And when he saw that, he arose and ran for his life, and went to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there.

4 But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he prayed that he might die, and said, “It is enough! Now, Lord, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!”

5 Then as he lay and slept under a broom tree, suddenly an ]angel touched him, and said to him, “Arise and eat.” 6 Then he looked, and there by his head was a cake baked on coals, and a jar of water. So he ate and drank, and lay down again. 7 And the angel of the Lord came back the second time, and touched him, and said, “Arise and eat, because the journey is too great for you.” 8 So he arose, and ate and drank; and he went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights as far as Horeb, the mountain of God.

9 And there he went into a cave, and spent the night in that place; and behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and He said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

10 So he said, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God of hosts; for the children of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I alone am left; and they seek to take my life.”

11 Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; 12 and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.

13 So it was, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. Suddenly a voice came to him, and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

14 And he said, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God of hosts; because the children of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I alone am left; and they seek to take my life.”

15 Then the Lord said to him: “Go, return on your way to the Wilderness of Damascus; and when you arrive, anoint Hazael as king over Syria. 16 Also you shall anoint Jehu the son of Nimshi as king over Israel. And Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abel Meholah you shall anoint as prophet in your place. 17 It shall be that whoever escapes the sword of Hazael, Jehu will kill; and whoever escapes the sword of Jehu, Elisha will kill. 18 Yet I have reserved seven thousand in Israel, all whose knees have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.”

19 So he departed from there, and found Elisha the son of Shaphat, who was plowing with twelve yoke of oxen before him, and he was with the twelfth. Then Elijah passed by him and threw his mantle on him. 20 And he left the oxen and ran after Elijah, and said, “Please let me kiss my father and my mother, and then I will follow you.”

And he said to him, “Go back again, for what have I done to you?”

21 So Elisha turned back from him, and took a yoke of oxen and slaughtered them and boiled their flesh, using the oxen’s equipment, and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he arose and followed Elijah, and became his servant.

Have you ever felt like God was just flat out punishing you or ignoring you?  Have you ever had a time in your life when you just felt that God was being unfair to you?  A lot of us have, including myself.  I know there have been many times that I have cried out like Elijah.  I have had my moments where I felt like I had sacrificed so much for God.  That I worked so hard for God.  That I gave so much time to do God’s work, and then nothing worked out for me.  I kicked, fussed, and cried to Him asking Him why I should even stay devoted, or like Elijah said, why should I even go on living if He was going to treat me this way.

And this wasn’t that long ago…

2018 and 2019 were very tough years in my life.  The majority of both years were filled with nothing but turmoil.   I had lost my grandfather in December of 2017 and the impact of losing him made a substantial impact on my life.  I was in grief and instead of processing it the right way with the Lord, I sank into a depression trying to depend on myself.  I was hurt a lot and questioned God a lot during this time.  My grandfather, Harold Elliston, was a patriarch in the community and was known as a kind and godly man.  While I knew death was a reality I questioned why God allowed my Papaw to suffer so.  I questioned why one day my Papaw could be singing hymns one day when he is in pain and then the day of his death, he went out screaming in pain.  Why didn’t God give this godly man comfort in his last few moments?  I know where my Papaw is at and I knew then, but I questioned why this would happen.   I questioned why would certain people act a certain way when this great man passed.  I wondered why the majority of the church family that I was a part of during that time never graced the doors of the funeral home during the visitation or funeral.  Didn’t they love me and know how much he meant to me?  I questioned why the person who I dearly loved and called my best friend couldn’t even show up to either the visitation or funeral and didn’t even follow up with me afterwards to check to see how I was.  This was a woman I held dear as a friend and poured out so much of how my Papaw meant to me.  

I questioned God on why my grandmother would go through so much pain.  I questioned why He would allow her to get ill as well.  Then, I got ill.  I got deathly ill.  It hurt to even live anymore.  I still kept going but each and every day became a struggle.  I jumped into a bad relationship thinking that at least someone can show some love to me but only experienced heartache.  I poured myself into my new job thinking that the hours would bring hope and peace to my mind, but nothing did.  My family fell on financial hard times and I had to work 3 jobs just to make ends meet.  I had disappointed my family with the sins I was accused of and never had the chance to defend myself.  I had disappointed them so bad that one even called me a false apostle.  To a man who holds the Lord dear in his heart and who has felt His calling at a young age, this is so detrimental. 

Especially when this person has a knowledge of Scripture where it says in Matthew 18:6

6 “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

I wanted my life to end.  Each night I cried out to God in tears begging Him to take me home.  I was too much of a coward to do it myself.   I just didn’t want to exist anymore.  I wanted to go home and be with Papaw, with Papaw Taylor, with grandma….with Him. 

Why am I sharing all of this with you?  Because I want you to know that there is hope and that hope lies within Jesus Christ.  I wanted to share this with you because I know I’m not alone in what I went through.  I know many of you have experienced a similar experience, are experiencing it, or will experience it.  Just because we follow the Lord Jesus Christ does not mean that we are immune from these things.  Trials and tribulations can be hard, but we can still rejoice in the Lord through them.

Romans 5:1-5 says,

5 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Why did God allow all of those things to happen to me and why does He allow them to happen to you?  This sounds radical, but we are radical children.  We are strange to the world.  God allowed these things for this main reason….He loves us.   God loves us so much that He wants us to be transformed into the image of His Son.  God wants us to come to the realization that we should never depend on other things, other people, circumstances, etc in our life.  The only thing we need to depend upon and completely surrender to is Him.  

I was puffed up in my faith.  I believed that I was so godly and so much a talented person that I didn’t deserve to experience pain in my life.

Here I was, a person reaching out to people in pain, but I was unwilling to be a part of them.  

God humbled me, but not only that, He prepared me.  He prepared me to lean solely upon Him and to realize the power of His love.  

I heard God tell me the same things He ultimately whispered to Elijah’s heart in the still small voice.  In my paraphrase and in my own thinking, I believe God basically told Elijah, “I love you...and I’m not done with you yet…”

Listen, whoever you are out there.  No matter what you are going through, you have a reason to rejoice and be happy.  God is telling you the same thing that He told Elijah…

 

“I love you...and I’m not done with you yet…”