Saving Friendships

 Matthew 5:21-26


21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. 23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. 26 Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the last penny.

We all want our friendships to last. But each relationship involves two imperfect humans who were born with a sinful nature—that means hurt feelings are bound to happen. And if they go unaddressed, the friendship can be damaged. How do we avoid this common pitfall?

First, acknowledge that damage exists. This takes place the moment you say, “Something isn’t right. I’d like for us to find and fix the problem.” It’s helpful to work together to assess how the trouble began—perhaps it resulted from a misunderstanding, an unresolved conflict, one person’s busyness, etc.

After recognizing the problem, take responsibility for your part in it. Apologize without justifying your actions or blaming anyone else—doing so shows love and commitment.

An apology must be followed up with amends. Ask your friend what specific action you both can take to rebuild the relationship, and then be sure to do it.

Repairing a troubled friendship requires humility to admit faults, effort to fix the problem, and time to heal. Instead of waiting until a relationship is in trouble, wise friends will go through these steps as soon as they are aware of having hurt a loved one. Preventative care can soothe minor scrapes before they become serious wounds.





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